You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
