Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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