My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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