Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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