Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
