Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
