Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
