yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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