Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
