How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have post one night stand depression
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
