That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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