woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
