Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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