If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
