I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize