I wish you could order shots online.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
