Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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