Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
