I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
