Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize