also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize