I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
