She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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