This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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