i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
