i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
