I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
