I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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