the new term for farting is butt boxing.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Enjoy the penises
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
