I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
