She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
