You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
