highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Less talking, more tequila
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
