yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
