NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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