So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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