I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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