It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
