he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This is classic penis vs brain.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
