Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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