I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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