another moral hangover. fuck.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
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This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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