oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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