Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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