I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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