if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
too bad you live with your parents still
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
