He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
