Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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