She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
