wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
