oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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