I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
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Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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