so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
