we made out on top of his cat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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