i can't believe i had my finger in that
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
