I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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