Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
