You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
