I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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