i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize