And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
